I Wrote a Novel

Well what to talk about...

Since we've last met, I've been in Spain, Austria, Czech Republic, and The Netherlands.  I spose I'll start mit Spain.

So we were in Spain for a week and stayed at probably the coolest hostel ever (Residencia Malaga Backpackers) in Malaga.  It was only 7€ per person per night and left you leaving quite satisfied as well as with lots of questions like, Why are half the people in this hostel older than my parents?  Or why is an old Englishman with his Russian wife staying there?  Or why can't any of the hostel employees speak Spanish?...I mean we were in Spain.  It was very nice of them to sprinkle my bed with tobacco leaves though!  It added that nice touch that most hostels nowadays just don't have.  But all in all I would definitely stay there again!

Most of the Spain nights were filled with a little drinking on the beach.  I mean 5€ for a 6 pack of wine?  Who wouldn't turn that down?  There were usually a group of Spaniards playing parkour into the beach sewer drain for us to watch.

The days were filled with walking.  LOTS OF WALKING.  If I ever hear anyone at GV complain about walking between apartment complexes I'm probably gonna throw a burrito at their left eye.  Why left eye?  I don't know but I do know I will always have a burrito on me as soon as I'm back in the states.  So yes back to walking.  I chose not to pack my "tourist dad walking shoes" because I didn't have that much room and more importantly, the whole "tourist dad walking shoes" thing kinda clashes with the bum/dirtbag look I've been trying so hard to achieve since I've been here.  Our first day trip was to a city near Malaga where we attempted to take a gondola ride up a mountain but it was sadly closed.  So we walked all around the city and I almost bought some yellow pants at a Spanish flea market (I know, big day for Ry-Guy).  Our next trip was into the city of Malaga where we climbed up to and old Roman fortress and Spanish castle.  Aaaaannnnnnd it was awesome!  What wasn't so awesome was the lack of toilet paper in the bathroom way up there.  I think Spain has something against toilet paper because that wasn't the first time that happened there.  The next trip was to a city close to Malaga where we explored the Nerja Caves, saw the Balcony of Europe, and most importantly, climbed massive rocks on the beach.  I probably could've just stayed and played on the rocks all day but eventually we had to walk for two miles down the highway so we could get to the caves.  Tourist dad shoes would've helped with that one.  The caves were pretty cool except that you had to stay on a set path and there wasn't a student discount.  I think I would have been happier climbing beach rocks.  The rest of the trip was spent eating Spanish Taco Bell, drinking cheap wine, and trying to figure out who actually worked at our hostel and who just kinda lived there for whatever reason.

From Spain I had a solid 8 hour break before I was picked up by my former high school exchange student, Mau, for some gnar shredding in den Alpen with him and his family.  The snow there was absolutely perfect!  For some reason though nobody would ever leave the marked paths (silly Europeans), which left tons of untouched knee deep powpow for me and my shredstick!  It was probably as close to the film Art of Flight as I'll ever get.  I also got to eat a schnitzel the size of a hand towel (I know, weird object to use as a size reference, right?).  We stayed in an alpine farmhouse way up on the side of a mountain.  No internet or TV but it had one of the best views of the town below and there were mountain hiking trails right behind it!  I was also able to teach Mau and his family how to play euchre in about ten minutes.  Deutscher sind schnelle Lerner!

From the alps I was dropped off at the Munich airport to pick up my visiting friends, Sam, Tyler, and Brad for Eurotrip 2014!  We did some hiking around Munich to start off the trip.  We went to Andechs monastery which is basically a hike through the woods to a monastery/brewery.  We got some brewskis and Tyler bought a 20€ pigs knuckle <-----just so you don't forget that decision Tyler.  The next day we went on a hike in the Alps and lots of selfies were taken.

From Munich we went to Prague and walked through some shady parts of town because we didn't wanna buy public transportation tickets.  During the day we walked all around Prague and saw about ten people doing the fake statue thing and about ten more making giant bubbles.  As cool of a town as Prague is, you can't walk more than 20 feet without someone trying to get your precious crowns.  What baffles me is why they would target four shabby looking backpackers as people who have money.  If I'm not even gonna spend my precious Czech crowns on making myself look somewhat presentable, why would I spend them in your fancy shmancy restaurant?  What I did spend my precious crowns on was some cheap, unhealthy food and pregaming material for the clubs.  The club we went to on the first night was by far the coolest one.  It had weird metal parts and neon lights everywhere as well as beer for $2!  The club on the last night was...well I'd tell you what that club was like but within five minutes of being in there I was looking at my dinner on the floor and on one of the two jeans that I packed.  Thanks to Sam for paying my cover with her precious crowns though!  On the cold walk back to the hostel I realized both my wallet and Ipod weren't in my pockets.  I sullenly stumbled on the night tram back to the hostel and thought about how screwed I really was without those things.  However, both my Ipod and my wallet were back at the hostel where I'd left them earlier before I went out.  Silly Ryan!

Then it was off to Berlin.  Clearly, we hadn't had enough of the clubs in Prague because we went out the clubs in Berlin on our first night there, from which Tyler and I didn't return until 8AM the following day.  Between dancing like a dumb American on the floor, talking to a man with two kids about Ukraine (auf deutsch!), meeting the German Ron Burgundy on the U-Bahn, pretending we were in the Jason Bourne movies as we snuck through our hostel at night, and creating a two hour improv radio broadcast on a bridge, it was a fabelhaft night!  We walked some more the next day and saw all the sites in Berlin.  The next day, Brad, Tyler, and I rented bikes and rode to the abandoned Iraqi Embassy to former East Germany.  Papers, beer bottles, and a post-apocalyptic feel were everywhere.  We explored, smashed some bottles, and journeyed back to the hostel.  We stayed up until our train at 4 the last night and headed off to...

Amsterdam!  If you ever go there, I have some tips.  First, if it looks like a one way street it is a two way street.  If it looks like a sidewalk, it is a bike path.  If it looks like a two-foot-wide curb, it is a sidewalk and don't you ever leave it!  Bikes have to right of way over anything and they also don't seem to have any rules.  If it looks like a ladder, it is a staircase.  If the building looks like it is leaning, it is (Amsterdam is built on a giant swamp basically).  And lastly, if it has a red light hanging in front of it or it says "coffee shop", well you should already know what that means.  Amsterdam was probably the coolest city to walk around but also the most difficult to navigate.  If you ever think you know where you are there, you're wrong and you need to stop lying to yourself.  On the last day, Sam and I went to the Anne Frank house.  What I really didn't think about until I was there was the constant darkness they had to deal with.  All the windows were blacked out and the lights dimmed.  Between that and the cramped space in there I don't think I could have lived there.  It truly puts thing in perspective to actually be in the annexe.

And now here I sit.  Brad, Tyler, and Sam flew back this morning and I have unpacked and am about to repack for Vienna.  I am enjoying every last bit of having my own room, clean clothes, and some down time before more traveling.  If you made it this far down the page I'm honored to be a distraction in your day.  High five your computer for me and I'll do the same.

Put sriracha on everything

Ryan

Reisen!

Finals week is almost over!  Just one more Klausur and then TWO MONTHS of traveling through Europe!

Since all this traveling through Europe is gonna cost some money I've had to do some cutting back on the things I enjoy here in Munich.  Thankfully, I am still able to get a healthy packet of tortellini and a beer everyday.  That's really all my body really needs...oh and sriracha.

So where will I go in this wondrous land?!  Well I'll tell you!  First a week in Malaga, Spain on the Mediterranean coast.  Then it's to the Austrian Alps with my old exchange student for some shredding of the gnar.  After that some friends from back home are coming and we're gonna tour Prague, Berlin, and Amsterdam.  Then it's off to Italy so I can think like Goethe and finally back in München!

Will I do stupid things during my trip through Europe?...wahrscheinlich

The only real question is how I am going to make a week and a half worth of undies last two months...

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica

So here I am, sitting shirtless in my room at 4:00 PM because I just took a shower and morning showers are for weenies.  My lovely Familie came and visited me for the holidays and now they are gone...wahhh.  My sibs and I got to celebrate the new year in POT (the bar in my dorm) where I witnessed my brother, Eric do the inch-worm on the bar floor.  I'm sure he has contracted lots of diseases from that.

Maw and Paw were as fantastic as ever.  They allowed me to eat like a king for a solid week instead of my steady sriracha and tortelloni diet.  It was a week of beer, laughs, and farts.

So what's next?  Well I'll tell you what's next!  Going to Zürich for mega birthday weekend with my friends and then Leipzig the following weekend for "Academic Research".

BIG NEWS!!!! I CAN FINALLY CURL MY MUSTACHE.

goodbye

Study Habits

Well it's December 3rd which means all you Leute at GVSU are probably studying for finals...hahahahaha.  I however, am only halfway through my semester in the land of Bier and Döner.  Unfortunately I do have to give a Referat über die Entwicklung der Autoindustrie in Deutschland next Thursday.  This means I will attempt to research the German auto industry and why it is just so fantastic...auf Deutsch.

Doing research for this Referat includes ten easy steps!

Step 1:  Attempt to read a page from one of the research books.  If I'm lucky I will understand three and a half works per sentence.

Step 2:  Pick out a few cool sounding words from the page and write those in a notebook

Step 3:  Cry for about 45 minutes

Step 4:  Get a beer

Step 5:  Stare angrily at the research book

Step 6:  Get another beer

Step 7:  Think about life

Step 8:  Get another beer

Step 9:  What was I doing?

Step 10:  Go to the bar in my basement

Now before you start criticizing my study habits you must understand I am simply exposing myself to the German culture.  If I was in the states I would never study in such a way but I am not.  Therefore I must learn how to do everything with a beer in hand.  It's just one of the things I'll have to get used to.  I know it won't be easy but I know I can do it!

Hanky Panky

If I were to sum up my trip to Berlin this past weekend in one word I would say, schmutzig...but in a good way.  The kind of schmutzig that makes you wanna publicly urinate on the nearest graffiti stained building, or throw a burrito at something...I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.

Side note - Hanky Panky is the name of the strip-club that was just a few doors down from my hostel in Berlin!

Our trip started with a Justin Vernon and the Volcano Choir concert (it's the dude from Bon Iver) on Thursday night.  Now I know what you're thinking, "How was the concert Ryan!?!?!?!".  Well I wish I could tell you but, being the oh-so-clever person that I am, I bought a ticket to see them on Friday night in Düsseldorf!  Winning!  I could tell you about all the crazy cool dreams I had as I was sleeping alone in the hostel while my friends were in the concert, but I can't remember them (They were good though, I've been having some really awesome dreams lately).

On Friday we began our day the only way American college students know how; with some cheap, filling asian food.  After significantly overeating, we had a couple of options: 1.  go to Mitte and see the Brandenburger Tor, Bundestag, and Berlin Wall and 2.  go to a giant thrift store and buy loads of clothes that you've never heard of so we can look almost half as hip as the Berliners...no not the jelly filled doughnut ones either.  Natürlich, we went with option 2.  After spending approximately two eternities in the thrift store, we left to go do what else?  more shopping.  This time at a Turkish flea market!  There's just nothing quite like getting barked at in one language that you barely understand and another that sounds like...well I don't know what it sounds like but I don't understand it at all.  Nevertheless I was able to walk away with some Norwegian wool socks and a gnartacular hoodie.  Woot! woot!  Friday night was spent at a beach bar.  And by beach bar, I mean a bar with sand covering the entire floor.  If you happen to besuchen this bar please do not attempt to build sand castles in the bar-floor sand...bar-floor sand is dirty and will make you dirty.

Side note - Some street performers in Berlin will enter your U-Bahn car and proceed to play clarinet to the the tune of "Let's Get it Started in Here", while you are trapped inside the moving U-Bahn jukebox.  So no sir, I will not give you my Geld simply because I am trapped inside of the same U-Bahn car as you and your snazzy clarinet.

Saturday began with a trip to Waffly...the 50's themed waffle diner that plays early 2000's hip hop (Berlin may be the hipster capital of Europe but its music is severely outdated).  Having filled our bellys with the waffliest of waffles, we decided we should actually see the sights worth seeing in Berlin.  So yes we saw the Bundestag, Brandenburder Tor, and Berlin Wall...and well, they look just like they do in all of the pictures in the interweb.  There was a protest going on outside of the Bundestag though!  I saw lots of dancing Turkish people as well as many, unsmiling, attempting-to-look-cool, Berlin Polizei.  We then visited the Topography of Terror and the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe.  The Topography of Terror is a museum where the old SS headquarters used to be.  The entrance is free and it was quite moving/terrirfying.  It basically shows how the Nazis came to power through terror.  The Jewish memorial was really cool!  When you first see it, it appears to simply be a bunch of cement blocks spanning an entire city block.  As you walk into the blocks however, you gradually sink into them until you are surrouned by an eerie silence as the blocks are way over your head and you have no idea where you are.  Very cool.

And now here I sit, writing a blog post because homework sucks...especially auf deutsch.

Side note - How is no shave November going for everyone?

My German Is Not Nearly As Good As I Thought It Was!

So German is hard...that much I've learned since classes have started.  I am currently taking Goethe's Italienische Reise, Deutsch für Fortgeshrittene, Deutschland Heute, Inter Kultural Kommunikation, München and National Sozialismus and understanding approximately half of that.  I am enjoying taking class auf Deutsch though!  Or at least attempting too.  Most of my classes only meet once a week and nobody in Germany ever has Friday class which is pretty shweet.

On a separate note, I finally got to go hiking in the Alps these past couple of weekends!  And the pictures really don't do it justice.  The best part about hiking in the Alps is the beer you get when you reach the Gasthaus at the top of the mountains.  Nothing tastes better than that!  I'll definitely be making some more trips out there this year.

Yesterday I went to Salzburg in Austria, but was severely disappointed when I didn't see a single piece of salt.  I mean come on, I was expecting to get a free bag of salt as soon as I stepped of the train!  But anyhoodles it was probably the nicest day I've had since I've been here.  After getting separated from our group, me and a friend wandered around Salzburg and settled on sitting on the riverbank with some Jäger and a pipe...not a bad way to spend the evening there!

Shoko Reis

Shoko Reis - the name of the weird off-brand German cereal that is currently next to me.  Grocery shopping in a foreign country is probably one of the hardest things ever.  I've already racked up three bottles of nasty salad dressing in my fridge. However I did find Sriracha, which can salvage any poorly cooked meal.

We are in our final week of orientation here at JYM.  This means that sadly, my five and a half month summer is in its final stages...waaaaaaah.  I'm not even sure I know how to study anymore.  Nothing like taking five classes taught in German to ease you back into school!

On a happier note, here are some pictures from my adventures this weekend!

 We went to the Munich Zoo!

 Baby Gorilla and Mommy!

 Best. Animal. Ever.

 This is what you have to climb through in order to get to the slide at German playgrounds

 Gnarly merry-go-round

 The Isar

 Train ride to Nürnberg...we got kicked off for not having the right ticket

 Who created that are piece?

 Wall Unicorn

 Creepy abandoned building on the Ammersee

 Ammersee!

 Biking through the Englishcer Garten to orientation

 Bike riding selfy

Real classy mall in München